I saw my life branching out before me like the green fig tree in the story. From the tip of every branch, like a fat purple fig, a wonderful future beckoned and winked. One fig was a husband and a happy home and children, and another fig was a famous poet and another fig was a brilliant professor, and another fig was Ee Gee, the amazing editor, and another fig was Europe and Africa and South America, and another fig was Constantin and Socrates and Attila and a pack of other lovers with queer names and offbeat professions, and another fig was an olympic lady crew champion, and beyond and above these figs were many more figs I couldn’t quite make out. I saw myself sitting in the crotch of this fig tree, starving to death, just because I couldn’t make up my mind which of the figs I would choose. I wanted each and every one of them, but choosing one meant losing all the rest, and, as I sat there, unable to decide, the figs began to wrinkle and go black, and, one by one, they plopped to the ground at my feet
The Bell Jar – Sylvia Plath
This quote makes me feel so understood and also scares me beyond belief because in it, I find my biggest fear put into words.
That I will be so confused about what I want, that I end up destroying all possibilities of true happiness. That I will do many things half-heartedly and never really know the pleasure of being completely immersed and in absolute Love with my choices and my life.
Manifestation is the most powerful tool for us, but to truly utilize this, you must first know what it is that you really want. And that can be the hardest part.
Everyone is born as a single individual, but by the time we are mature enough to participate in life we have already become a crowd. This feeling is nothing special, in fact it’s something that happens within almost everybody. The difference is that you are becoming aware of it, which is good.
If you sit silently and listen to your mind, you will find so many voices. You’ll be able to recognize them very well. One is your grandfather, your grandmother, another is from your father, another from your mother. Some voice is from the priest, some voice is from the teacher, your friends, your enemies. All of these voices are jumbled up in a crowd within you, and if you want to find your own voice, it is almost impossible – the crowd is too thick.
You were probably taught to say yes to everything that your elders were saying to you. You were taught to follow what your teachers and parents are doing. Your own voice has remained very subdued and so the other voices are very loud, commanding, because they were orders and you followed them – in spite of yourself. You had no intention to follow, you could see “This is not right.” But one has to be obedient to be respected, to be acceptable, to be loved.
The truth is that the more you love your own decisions, the less you need others to love them.
Only one voice is absent, only one person is hidden in this conflict, and that is you. So show up. Otherwise there is a whole crowd, constantly driving you mad, because one voice says, “Do this,” another says, “Never do that! Don’t listen to that voice!” and you are torn apart.
If you want to become an individual in your own right, if you want to get rid of this continuous conflict and mess within you, then you have to say good-bye to these voices- even when they belong to your respected mother, father, grandfather. It does not matter whose they are, but one thing is for sure: they are not yours.
Some of us endlessly stress about what we should do and where we should go. What’s the right decision? Why am I so conflicted, why can’t this just be simple? But what we don’t see is that the conflict is the entire point.
“Goddess, be grateful for the divine separation that the universe is calling within you, for it is bringing you to your higher self.”
You are awake and you are living. You are not simply vegetating and believing. You are questioning and doubting.
Respect yourself enough to follow your truth. Allow your nature to take its course. Don’t force, don’t repress. Doubt the rules – because doubt is not a sin, it is a sign of your intelligence. Doubt and go on inquiring until you find. Find your true self inside the crowd.
Each person is born with a unique individuality, and each person has a destiny of his or her own. Imitation is crime, it is criminal. If you try to become a Buddha, you may look like Buddha, you may walk like him, but you will miss. You will miss all that life was ready to deliver to you. Buddha happens only once. It is not in the nature of things to repeat. Existence is so creative that it never repeats anything. You cannot find another being in the present, in the past, or in the future who is going to resemble you exactly. It has never happened. The human being is not a mechanism like Ford cars on an assembly line. You are a soul, individual. Imitation is poisonous. So following in anyone’s footsteps that are not your own is almost murder. Do not rob the world of yourself, of what you could be at your full potential.
‘When you are a revolution unto yourself it is a joy to see, because you have fulfilled your destiny. You have transcended the ordinary mob, the sleeping crowd.’ You have silenced the crowd in your mind, and narrowed the noise down to a single clear voice – your own.
One thing I can say: whosoever inquires, finds. It is absolutely certain; it has never been otherwise- Nobody has come empty-handed from an authentic inquiry.
Silence the crowd in your mind and you will truly know what you want.
You will know which fig on the tree is the next step in your path.
This divine separation is your chance to decide whether to remain awake in your growth or to be a voice slowly lost in the noise of the crowd.
Please, just be you. We need you. Not you with a mask.
xoxo, little bird
Next step coming soon : Manifestation is REAL
Art by Archan Nair
Quotes & heavy inspiration from The Book of Understanding by Osho
Thoughts cultivated by countless conversations with friends and family all over the world